Little one, we are six weeks out (give-or-take a few days or so). We are ready to welcome you in every way but the physical sense, since the clothes remain unwashed in a bin, and most of our newborn items deep in storage. To be honest you don’t technically actually have a bedroom yet, since your brother now has two as we compete the process of moving him downstairs (I’m sure this is only the start of many years of “second-child-syndrome”).
I had a scare this week that resulted in a few hours with a monitor over your tiny heart. You are not even born yet, and I already have Mom-guilt for the scenario I created.
I’ve read number of articles about Mom’s worry about having enough love to go around for a second child, as though its a finite thing. You are already more loved than you know, and I scoff at the thought I could ever lack all the love needed to go around.
When your brother was born, I loved him right away (obviously), but it was strange to look down that first night at that little puffy baby/old-man face and think to my self “I’m supposed to sacrifice everything for this thing?”. After all, we didn’t really know that much about each other, despite sharing a circulation system for 41 weeks and 3 days. That overpowering parent/child bond you hear about took a few days to really solidify itself, and was nothing like the immediate, poetic bond I was told would shift my entire being the moment I laid eyes on a child I’d created.
That feeling excites me this time around. Instead of a tiny stranger this time around, I see potential. Will you be a wild man like your brother? A gentle, old soul? I’m not going to lay and wonder “How do we build a bond” but “how can I foster every chance for development and potential” (big plans, I know).
I can’t promise your Dad and I know anything more about what we are doing the second time around, but just as with your brother, the first thing we wish you is happiness, and for that we will do everything in our power to love, support and in some cases, provide discipline if needed for you to find what you want and use your tools to achieve it!